I gave a friend a recipe for a pork marinade yesterday and one of the ingredients was kosher salt. I laughed at the irony of this. Then I began to think of all the possible uses for kosher salt if it were a magic Jewish pixie dust.
A Jew wanting to take a walk on the non-kosher side of life could carry this magic salt in a small pouch to sprinkle on anything they fancied that was non-kosher. Feelin' like having a ham sandwich, sprinkle, BLAM!... kosher. Want some blood sausage, BLAM!...kosher. Wish to bring home your non-Jewish girlfriend to meet your parents, BLAM!...she's Jewish. Hey Jewish princess...foreskin gettin' in the way when you go down on your gentile boyfriend? BLAM!...its gone. Wow! Think of the implications of that last one. All the pain of circumcision wiped from the earth.
Anyway, this is all fantasy. Kosher is kosher and pork isn't, no matter how must magic Jewish pixie dust you use. And once that salt touches that pig, BLAM!...call the rabbi.
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