Tuesday, December 29, 2020

I choose to honor the creation, not the creator. The creator was never the intended focus. It was the creation. That is the world we live in. And the creations within this world are truths. Religions that worship the creator are an abomination. They steer us away from what is true and then we are let down when the creator fucks up. 

If God created us humans in His own image, as it is stated in the Bible, is that a sign of self love or a reflection that God is both an asshole and lovely at the same time? If we look away from the awful and beautiful actions of such a supreme being and focus on the creation of life, death, love, fear, pain, comfort, suffering, joy it all begins to make sense that creation is the setting to be worshipped and honored for the journey to take place.

Stories abound of talented artists, writers, musicians, etc. who's personal lives are filled with alcoholism, drug addiction, abusive behavior, god awful political beliefs and moral decay who have created works of art so beautiful and awe inspiring that their creations have overshadowed the person they really are. I would not throw out the music Vivaldi wrote even if I found out he was a pedophile. He wasn't by the way, but Michael Jackson was...and the same rule applies in my book. Hell, some of Adolph Hitler's paintings are pretty good. Scratch off the signature and most people would hang that art in their hallway.

Now one could argue that certain creations are destructive and would argue back that you still have to respect weapons of mass destruction just as you honor the sun which one day will engulf the earth leaving nothing but a cinder. Also we know not to stare into the sun lest we go blind. We don't play with guns or plutonium yet we have lost our way with such creations because we did not honor their destructive power. 

Give everyone a sun somehow and the result is we all go blind. But to continue down this crazy thought I'll add that the things that can blind us also allow us to see, and the creation allows us to be blind to the creator and see the truth that the creation is greater than the creator. Creation is a perpetual source of new discovery, curiosity and imagination.

I'll worship that.

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Everybody has done it, seen it and ate it

I'm beginning to hate it

I finish a project that's done by many

No original in any

I have conversations with friends who read books that don't end

The novelty is over

No fringe society or four leaf clover

I try to have an interesting thought that nobody has bought

They start to listen, chime in, walk away

Eyes begin to glisten

It's not polite to be polite 

...or hear the music anymore

Pretend you've heard before

Tell everyone you've done it, seen it and hate it

That's the new school

The 'Like', 'Subscribe' and YouFool

That's the new fad

Tangled around the money you had

Should have spend it while it was yours

Now they're closing the store

Membership only

Sure feels lonely...

Thursday, July 9, 2020

Behind the varnish are stories

Fingerprints and glory stained upon cellulose and grain

Spilt apple juice and wine

The memories wane

Like bugs I've seen pass

So many I've squashed and others I've let live

They crawl on me, consume me and ask if I wish to forgive

And lay sunny and warm beneath the tree I planted years ago


Sunday, March 22, 2020

Day 3

What can I say? Tomorrow I head to work at the hospital. It's not a hot zone, but it's not well equipped either. If we do get critically ill Covid 19 patients, we will have to divert them to other facilities. It's not ideal, but it's the best option for now. The hospital I'm at right now is a small rural critical care hospital with a small skilled nursing unit with vulnerable patients, so to bring in a positive Covid 19 patient would just put them at risk.
Anyway, I have a more somber tone today because I see this pandemic escalating in Italy and see the similarities happening here in the U.S. I urge the 1 or 2 people who read this to take the 'stay at home order' and social distancing seriously. This can escalate very quickly and the impact on our society if this were to overrun our healthcare system would be catastrophic. It's no fucking joke. I know some people see this as a blip on the radar and that most of us will not have any serious illness, but that's not the way to look at it. Let me give some conservative CDC numbers if this virus was to run its course unchecked:

The U.S. has 1,000,000 hospital beds, approx 120,000 of those beds are ICU
100,000,000 U.S. citizens get infected with Covid 19
20% of those will require hospitalization (I know you can do the math)
20,000,000 hospitalized with 15% of those needing to be intubated (on a ventilator) and in ICU
That's 3,000,000 in ICU

Note our nation's hospital capacity and do the math. Follow instructions. Stay home. Shop and buy only what you need. Keep your distance from one another unless you live with them. Don't be fucking selfish! Pass this message on.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

M-M-M-Mmyyyy Corona Day 2

I'm sitting in my living room during day 2 of our state's mandated stay at home order listing to Vangelis. Jen put it on because it brings her joy. Why? Don't know. I don't ask these things, other than, 'Hey Jen, does this bring you joy?' Yes! Okay. Of course I have to ruin it by telling her to imagine these songs playing during a porno. She just shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and wonders if she'll be able to remain in this house with me or take her chances out in the post apocalyptic world scrounging for hand sanitizer and toilet paper. She'll stay because I cook and occasionally make her laugh. Plus she's not going to find a better man than me and I don't think she will leave the cat, Skittles. Although she now refers to him as the 'little fucker'. Maybe she was talking to me. I don't know, but I think Skittles and I are safe for now. We'll keep her happy and Skittles has all the dry food we'll need for a couple weeks and in the worse case scenario we can always eat the 'little fucker'...wait is that me?

Friday, March 20, 2020

M- M -M -Mmyyyy Corona!

Well it's day 1 of the California "stay at home" order and my worst fear is that I'll die and no one will be able to come to my funeral. Maybe we can have a virtual funeral. Everyone can attend from the comfort of their living rooms and they don't have to wear pants. That's all fine with me. Try not to cry on the keyboard and keep your camera shot above the waist. I don't have a lot of friends so I wish to invite anybody who would like to attend my virtual Zoom funeral. You'll have to download the Zoom app and the funeral will have a 40 minute time limit, because that's all the free version offers, so keep your eulogies short. For all those strangers who wish to attend, I would request you only share what a handsome man I was and that my life sounded amazing and that you are so sorry you never got to meet me in person, then share a good cocktail recipe. Family and friends can share what they wish, just make it all about me. If you're unable to attend the live version of my virtual funeral you can tweet wonderful things about me, gush on Facebook, and share the best selfie you have of me and you on Instagram. I expect there'll be plenty of sad face emoji in the comments. Other than that carry on with your virtual lives and when things settle down and you all are allowed out of your houses, you can all share a nice warm heartfelt elbow bump with one another.
For now I'm still alive and healthy and I expect all of you are as well. This is day 1 of M- M -M Mmyyyy Corona. And remember if you die, you died a hero.

Friday, March 15, 2019

The playground is in decay. I can see the swing set and slide I assembled years ago bleach and rot. The vinyl canopy atop the "fort" tore many winters past and the storms and sun continue to do their job dutifully. The swing's chains are rusted to a hazard for anyone who attempts to use them for any kind of joy. The whole play set is ready to ambush the next fun seeker. I should probably tear it down but I enjoy watching it age. I tell myself I'll repair it, make it safe again for some kind of future, but It stands as a monument to my son's childhood...maybe mine too. It's a beautiful thing to see it still standing, holding on. And when the wind blows, memories sit in the swings and laugh. It all lasts for just a moment. That is all it is, a moment.