Sunday, March 22, 2020

Day 3

What can I say? Tomorrow I head to work at the hospital. It's not a hot zone, but it's not well equipped either. If we do get critically ill Covid 19 patients, we will have to divert them to other facilities. It's not ideal, but it's the best option for now. The hospital I'm at right now is a small rural critical care hospital with a small skilled nursing unit with vulnerable patients, so to bring in a positive Covid 19 patient would just put them at risk.
Anyway, I have a more somber tone today because I see this pandemic escalating in Italy and see the similarities happening here in the U.S. I urge the 1 or 2 people who read this to take the 'stay at home order' and social distancing seriously. This can escalate very quickly and the impact on our society if this were to overrun our healthcare system would be catastrophic. It's no fucking joke. I know some people see this as a blip on the radar and that most of us will not have any serious illness, but that's not the way to look at it. Let me give some conservative CDC numbers if this virus was to run its course unchecked:

The U.S. has 1,000,000 hospital beds, approx 120,000 of those beds are ICU
100,000,000 U.S. citizens get infected with Covid 19
20% of those will require hospitalization (I know you can do the math)
20,000,000 hospitalized with 15% of those needing to be intubated (on a ventilator) and in ICU
That's 3,000,000 in ICU

Note our nation's hospital capacity and do the math. Follow instructions. Stay home. Shop and buy only what you need. Keep your distance from one another unless you live with them. Don't be fucking selfish! Pass this message on.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

M-M-M-Mmyyyy Corona Day 2

I'm sitting in my living room during day 2 of our state's mandated stay at home order listing to Vangelis. Jen put it on because it brings her joy. Why? Don't know. I don't ask these things, other than, 'Hey Jen, does this bring you joy?' Yes! Okay. Of course I have to ruin it by telling her to imagine these songs playing during a porno. She just shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and wonders if she'll be able to remain in this house with me or take her chances out in the post apocalyptic world scrounging for hand sanitizer and toilet paper. She'll stay because I cook and occasionally make her laugh. Plus she's not going to find a better man than me and I don't think she will leave the cat, Skittles. Although she now refers to him as the 'little fucker'. Maybe she was talking to me. I don't know, but I think Skittles and I are safe for now. We'll keep her happy and Skittles has all the dry food we'll need for a couple weeks and in the worse case scenario we can always eat the 'little fucker'...wait is that me?

Friday, March 20, 2020

M- M -M -Mmyyyy Corona!

Well it's day 1 of the California "stay at home" order and my worst fear is that I'll die and no one will be able to come to my funeral. Maybe we can have a virtual funeral. Everyone can attend from the comfort of their living rooms and they don't have to wear pants. That's all fine with me. Try not to cry on the keyboard and keep your camera shot above the waist. I don't have a lot of friends so I wish to invite anybody who would like to attend my virtual Zoom funeral. You'll have to download the Zoom app and the funeral will have a 40 minute time limit, because that's all the free version offers, so keep your eulogies short. For all those strangers who wish to attend, I would request you only share what a handsome man I was and that my life sounded amazing and that you are so sorry you never got to meet me in person, then share a good cocktail recipe. Family and friends can share what they wish, just make it all about me. If you're unable to attend the live version of my virtual funeral you can tweet wonderful things about me, gush on Facebook, and share the best selfie you have of me and you on Instagram. I expect there'll be plenty of sad face emoji in the comments. Other than that carry on with your virtual lives and when things settle down and you all are allowed out of your houses, you can all share a nice warm heartfelt elbow bump with one another.
For now I'm still alive and healthy and I expect all of you are as well. This is day 1 of M- M -M Mmyyyy Corona. And remember if you die, you died a hero.