I thought I was surfing by myself today, having a peaceful session, a quiet communion with the sea, a glorious moment of here and now. I was one with all and everything that will ever be. It was one of those special times when everything falls in place and conspires with you. I took it all in as another set wave lined up towards me. I began to paddle only to realize that I was not alone.
Something had joined me and had been there the whole time but just now made its presence known as I'm dropping into a overhead wall of water. I lost focus and went over the falls hitting hard in the shallow beach break. The wipe out didn't even distract me from the violation I was experiencing in my wetsuit. Something was crawling along my taint. That's right! Taint! That nether area between ones genitals and anus. Something was working hard to become one with me via my rectum. I scrambled to shore and quickly stripped down my wetsuit to my ankles. As I swept my fingers through the crack of my ass as if I were saving a choking victim by clearing the airway, I gathered a couple of pill bugs, "rolly pollies", armadillo like insects that roll up into a ball as a defense, but apparently try to frantically crawl up ones ass when confronted with drowning in a wetsuit.
Now I have seen pill bugs take refuge in my wetsuit before and I have always consciously shaken them out before donning my suit, but a couple must have escaped my efforts this time and they didn't share my love for the ocean. I suppose in a way they did share a love for me.
