For Monte: A Spewing Tribute

I don't know why I'm writing this. But I'm going to write it anyway since it should be safe here, all tucked away on my obscure little blog. For those who do read it, let it be known that the man I describe in the following essay is more than what's written. I only know him for what he is to me and nothing more. I write this because he is dying, maybe quicker than some of us. He has end stage cancer and it is most likely the thing that will end his life. But as most of us know there are no guarantees in life or death. I could very well die before Monte.
So I write this to you, Monte, as my tribute, my good bye to you if I shall leave this world before you. If you leave before me, then let it say the same.
I never got to say good bye to my father before he died. He died suddenly of a heart attack at work and that was it. I write this for purely selfish reasons. I write it to you to say what I may have said to my father before he died.
In the end you're not my father, but have come to symbolize something in my life that my father was not. You've given me an outside window to look through at a relationship between a child and father. I see more clearly now from a father's perspective, not only because I'm a father myself, but have learned through the relationship you have with your son and daughters. I've seen the love you had for your children expressed by providing for them, teaching them and disciplining them. These are hard things for a father to do and I know you did not do them alone. Barbara was a significant partner, but you did these things all the same. You are of my father's generation and I see parts of him in you and I love and appreciate those sacrifices he made for me more now than ever.
Thank you for welcoming me into your family and sharing time with me. Whether I or you are the first to shed this grand illusion called life, I wish to say good bye and thank you. If we somehow meet again in some separate reality, I look forward to it.

Some people might describe Monte as eccentric, a scientist, a father, a husband, a grandfather. And he's all those things and more than we'll know. I know Monte as my father in law and I can honestly say I like the guy. Yes, I like my father in law. I might even go as far as to call him my friend. Yes, I will go out on a limb here and call him my friend. I feel comfortable around him in silence. He's easy for me to talk to. I don't feel judged by him...and he has never criticized me to my face.
As far as I know I think he likes me. He's nice to me, he's listens to me, he's generous with me and he's asked me several times to hang out. Just him and I hangin' out like bros looking at flowers in some botanical garden or cookin' a meal. I remember one time he came along with me while I dove for abalone. He offered to stand look out on the beach and point to where my body would most likely be found by authorities if I were to drown. This made perfect sense to us, so off we went to the beach. Maybe he was hoping I'd drown, but I think he was really looking forward to the abalone. He really likes abalone. It's the one thing I can offer Monte that he wants and can't get himself. He knows lots of people and has many resources, so maybe he could get abalone from someone else. In fact I know he can get abalone from other people. His son Eric is one of them.
I like Eric and I married his sister Jen, so that goes without saying that I like her too. There's a third sibling. Her name is Linda and I can hang with her for a short time,  then I need a break. But I like her none the less. It's just that Linda comes with a circus (trust me when I say it's the best circus in town). Don't get me wrong, I love circuses but after a few days...well let's just say I tend to be a loner asshole.
Anyway,  I bring all this up because a man who can raise three children that I like (one of them I love) is alright in my book. Not only are his children likeable, they're smart and good looking too (they got their good looks from their mom by the way). These same children are raising wonderful children themselves. Cedric I haven't met yet, but I look forward to meeting him. And Linda's kids are, as I mentioned, the greatest show in town. I would do anything for any of them. I mean it. That's because they're family. That's the crux of it. They have all become my family. And it started with Monte. You can tell a lot about a man by what kind of children he's raised.
Let me not finish there, because for me what makes Monte interesting is his ability to be just who he is. No bullshit! He'll do and say things in any social settings that some of us might not do. That doesn't stop Monte, because he's not a bullshitter. Watching him in action is pure entertainment. I love to watch the reactions on people's faces when Monte takes food from their plate. And I'm talking about perfect strangers at a party. Now this may seem rude to some of you, but Monte wouldn't have a problem if someone took something off his plate. He's generous that way and his thinking is, 'Why would anyone else mind?'.
His stories are entertaining too. He has many of them and he's happy to share them with you. I like his stories. He's full of scientific facts because he's a scientist. A brilliant one who has made many discoveries in his field of chemistry.
I remember him sharing a story at dinner time with some friends of mine about how they've discovered that human bodies are taking longer to decompose because of all the preservatives in the food we are ingesting. I'm not kidding. It's an interesting fact. Oh! and to see the look on my friends faces was the best part of the dinner. For me it was awesome. I wanted to know more. Please Monte, continue...
I love him for that reason. I'm serious.
Of course all this does not sum up who Monte is. He's a great gardener and knows more about plants than anyone I know. He impressed my son by his ability to throw a perfect spiral over and over again when they played catch with a football. He shoots a great basketball. I watched him lift the end of a heavy planter box with two fingers while I held the other end with all the strength of my whole hand. That was after I shifted the weight from both. That grip was lasting from his days as a farmer and many years gardening.
Monte served his country in the defense industry through his knowledge of chemistry. He exposed himself to radiation and toxic materials while expanding knowledge. And in the end that's what most likely caused his cancer. He is courageous in facing his disease and has never stopped living. He has my admiration, my respect, my friendship.