Son, it's time...

Time to do the things for yourself that you can

I'll help you with the things you can't do by yourself

But you have to ask

I may not reach out to you all the time

Yet my arms are always open to you

Don't lie to yourself

Silence any critical voice in your head

It's bullshit and if listened to will result in heartache

I no longer see you as a child

Yet I'm still your father

Although you may be done being my son

You're still my son

I will not tolerate disrespect

When you yell I'll stop listening

When you speak to me I'll hear you

When you make a mistake I'll forgive you

But it makes no difference if you don't forgive yourself

I have nothing to offer you if that's what you choose to believe

I have many things to offer you if truth is what you seek

I've made many mistakes that you don't have to make

Question everything to uncover the truth

Not to hate but to love

Be curious

Listen

Be quiet

Be still

Be strong...like water

Humility is the water that will breakdown the hardest stone
 
Follow your heart and respect the hearts around you

Many of them have been broken...just like yours

Finally...

Always keep in mind that you are one of 7 billion people on this planet, so...

You're not alone

I gave her paper flowers

Made to burn and wish upon

To ignite a hope that one day she'll be free

Free of me and all the prisons she has built for herself

I have given her nothing but I can say I shared with her

Time, child and love

My paper heart knows that the flowers I give her will be ash one day

I will gladly watch her run away as the paper flowers burn today

Box

I watched the movers fill a truck with my neighbor's belongings today

Everything fit neatly into a nice dimensional box

Little boxes placed into a bigger yet little box that could be driven away

Driven to another place where it all could be unloaded and arranged into another dimensional box

This time maybe a bigger box than where it used to reside...or at least one with a better view

Maybe this new box is within walking distance to a boxy school, boxy hospital and boxy stores

Maybe it will be nearby a boxy job

Wherever the stuff ends up it will arrive upon paved roads traveled by many

All linear roads and sidewalks lead to boxy things

And so we live our lives with boxy underwear, boxy minds and boxy hearts

Imagine if there was a wilderness...a place where oceans, forests and sky all came together

To wander aimlessly and join the stars billions of miles away and into blackness that's infinity

Where a box is nothing and light is free to travel everywhere

Dad, Wine and Baba O'Riley

My dad liked wine

He liked to taste wine, he liked to drink wine and I'm sure he liked how wine made him feel

I do

He also liked classical music

I do

I appreciate wine and my Father's sensibilities...now

But he never appreciated mine

I liked beer, tequila, a line of cocaine and Rock 'n Roll

I wanted to smash my violin across my mom's face

After I played The Who's "Baba O'riley"

Is that art?

But of course I wouldn't

...smash my violin

I loved my violin

I would play the solo violin part of "Baba O'Riley" with headphones on and a head full of THC

My Dad would drink wine and listen to my mom ask if that was music I was supposed to be practicing

And all I could hear was,

"It's only teenage wasteland, it's only teenage wasteland...They're all wasted!"

Today I hear the song and all I can hear is,

"I don't need to be forgiven, I don't need to fight to prove I'm right!"

...and I no longer want to smash my mom's face

And I'm not my Dad!

Ship of a Fool

A wrecked vessel upon a reef of childhood memories lay waste to a voyage beyond

I am the captain with no ship and a faint sadness threatens to crumble my snottiness into tears

Fortunately I can stand

It's shallow... and if it were not, I can swim

But scared of open water

The abysmal depth of dark, brackish and cold waters I have felt have been satisfying

I seem to enjoy those non metaphorical bodies of liquid although I'm scared while crossing

Now I stand grounded upon an uncharted, bony reef

Stuck!

It's time to swim

And I realize I was captain to no crew

I never needed a fucking ship

I was always told I needed one

What a fool I've been

Light Wind Tashiba

The Splinter

The splinter beneath my skin makes me feel bad today

A rash has broken through my facade as I try to heal from my old ways

All my appetites are back and it itches like crazy

I'll try not to be lazy

Maybe the ceiling will collapse on me and fall through the floor into dirt

The dark hurt

The dusty place of the heart when revealed breathes easy

Freeze me

Until a time in which I can be cured

Reassured...

They tell me it's just a spilnter

The only problem is that they've never had one

Not like this

I've forgotten how to kiss

And all they can say is...

Fill in the blank

Because we have all heard the stupid fucking words

...and the splinter continues to fester